LIVER
Buy a Liver Today, for a Better Tomorrow!
Quantity available: 2.
PRICE: $154.00 each
Dear Readers,
we Interrupt MINOS THE MINOTAUR for a very important event!
Over the years we have asked for your compassion, pity, open-mindedness regarding kinky stuff, your votes, your undivided and unwavering adoration... and NOW it is FINALLY time that we ask for your hard-earned CASH!!!
So if you're a historian, take note: Today kicks off this EXTRAORDINARY (yet pitiful) Once-in-a-Lifetime painfest... Dumb Bum's Personal SALE of Vital Organs!!! Yes, our OWN Organs.
It's the best way we found to raise money for our Minotaur's future. As you understand, in order to keep our website going, only organs that do not affect our comic's productivity will be sold.
Browse our Catalogue below
(Please note: The pictures are not real photos of our organs. Ours look better and are more compatible with your body. Given that we're not surgeons, but cartoonists, they won't be removed with a knife but with artistic heart. Except for the heart, it will be removed with the liver instead).
THE GREAT SALE YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO MISS
LIVERBuy a Liver Today, for a Better Tomorrow! |
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PRICE: $154.00 each |
NAILSIf you tell us which one you want, we can even grow it to your favorite size. They're sharp and never brittle. Good for chewing, if you have that gross habit. |
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PRICE: $7.45 or FREE if you Buy a Liver!!! |
HEARTWe had to draw straws to see who had to put his heart up for sale! You'll be very pleased with this purchase. It's a young, cold-hearted thing, it does have some feelings for cactuses... Yeah, it's an all-around great heart. A cardiologist's dream! |
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PRICE: $63.00 |
PIG HEARTPig hearts out-perform any webcomic maker's heart in Lab Tests! |
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PRICE: $88.70 each |
EYEBROWSDifferent shapes and sizes available. We will ship randomly depending on who finds the wax first. |
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PRICE: $20.00 each or $55.00 for a set of 3. Think about it, you get a spare, how many people get that privilege? |
APPENDIXOne of those organs you can't have enough of. So stock up, my friends. There is nowhere else to find these! They make a nutritious meal if you live in Iceland and you're getting fed up of the traditional food. |
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PRICE: $1000.00 each. Round number for a quick and easy sale. |
250ML OF BLOODOur life force. It's not tested for most diseases including but not limited to hepatitis. But I've been taking my iron pills lately so it's good stuff. Hey mosquitoes love it, why wouldn't you? |
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PRICE: $72.49 for a bottle. $612.00 for Vampires and Werewolves... and Wolves. |
1 LITER OF BLOODThis is a fine example of how quantity doesn't mean quality. To get you a full liter we'll be mixing blood samples of the entire Dumb Bum staff! One of them is a monkey!!! Ah, good times with the monkey. |
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PRICE: $200.00 Human Sales only. $800.00 if you're Billy Bob Thornton, no discount this time for your creepy habits, Billy. |
TONSILSLost yours? Want a fresh pair? Look no further, our pairs ARE fresh. Can be fed to your piranha pets. Just buy. |
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PRICE: $6.59 each |
DANDRUFFQuantity available: None, sorry. We have very healthy scalps you see. |
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PRICE: $0.00 |
BRAINWe're keeping one of our brains to make sure Minos can live on and prosper. The one we're selling is worth buying even if you don't want yours replaced. It's a beautiful brain, that will fit in any decor, though it matches better in Victorian or Ikea living rooms. It will keep away pestering visitors, guaranteed. Somewhere in that brain Minos originated!!! Toilet humor found root within. Don't let it pass like random wind... We will autograph it so it will have Ebay value... maybe... if you keep it long enough... but not in direct sunlight. |
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PRICE: $450.00 but once it's removed we can't do the math, so you can get a screwer's discount! |
KIDNEYI'm not sure what this does but I have 2 I think, so I'm giving one away at a reasonable price. And the only thing I know about kidneys is that they've something to do with urine. Do not worry you'll get it drained professionally. Odor Free... probably.You can choose the right or left one according to your political preferences. So you can be leaning more to that side than any other man! |
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PRICE: $6900.00 (it's very difficult to remove it from back there. I'm not a contortionist). |
OPERATION GAMEBefore you start buying stuff here, or inserting things there, you might want to have a general medical idea of what goes where. This game was designed with the freelance surgeons, and mad doctors in mind. This was the practice ground for Dr.Frankenstein too. And look how far he went. Buy one from us today. |
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PRICE: $44.00. It's new. Ships with batteries. |
NEEDLE AND THREADFor the do-it-yourself person! If we can remove this stuff you can sure try to put it in yourself. Actually we're expecting you to, no need to put those nasty medical associations on our trail. You can do it. And kids, remember to ask Grandma for help. Her flimsy hands are always available to place a band-aid, hold a flashlight, call 9-1-1. |
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PRICE: $2.99 |
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To the fine prints reader: We sell internationally and universally. All items will be shipped in a highly secure, leakage-free ziploc bag (the Freezer type), you can later use it to preserve your bologna for quite a while!!! All organs come from a smoking-free, caffeine-overdosed, and exercise-reticent body. Satisfaction Guaranteed or I guess it really sucks. Returns might be accepted if you ship them back untouched and unspoiled in their original high-quality ziploc bag. Wish us luck with the initial removals.
